1.----- 10 Signs That A Kid Is A Nerd

10. Likes people that opress him: teachers, parents, principals, police, and authority figures.
9. Is overly enthusiastic about 'Dungeons and Dragons' and other role playing games.
8. Very familiar with mega-hurtz, wears glasses and, can quote scripture.
7. Frequently speaks of martial arts, but still gets beaten up.
6. Says 'Whom' instead of 'Who.'
5. Is pleased when disruptive individuals are sent to the office, so that they can continue with their learning.
4. Prefers NPR to any music.
3. Gets upset when there is a test or quiz that he did not know about.
2. Rooted for Deep-Blue in the famous chess game.
1. Must be pulled off bridge when not accepted at the college of his choice.


2.-----
Three couples went to a resturant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.


3. ---
"You're so stupid you had to call 411 to get the number for 911."

4. ---
"You remind me of a famous movie star."
"Really? Which one?"
"Lassie."

5. ---

Last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.

6. ---

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck?
If it was invented by anyone else they would have called it a "teethbrush".

7. ---

Yo' breath so stank, it's like your tongue farted!

8. ---

Hey, what are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants its ass back?

9. ---

You're so poor, I walk in your front door and I'm in the backyard'

10. ---

This lady goes to the doctor for a check up.
When she gets home her husband asks, "So how did the appointment go?"
She replies, "He said, I have the body of a twenty year old.
Her husband says, "Oh yeah. and what did he have to say about your forty year old ass?"
She says, "Your name didn't come up."